Ktving on friday with shus and sharon.
We were crooning to all the nonsense boyband songs at the top of our lungs and trying to capture snapshots with shus' jerry and my wilber!!!
Acting secondary school girls all over again.

Xmas dinner at 'Zen' with the copar gisbu.
Tasty food great ambience plus friendly service.
Headed back to shai's place for the x'mas exchange gifts session.
All of us were supposed to prepare a $0 gift using recycled materials.
And i realised just what a buncha of arty farties we are!
The girls went hysterical when chuan yang pulled on the super-mini-tight-fit tee he got from louis!!!
We chilled over wine and champagne at the dimly lited porch.
Talking about ambitions plans and dreams.
The next get together will be cq's BIG 21.
Alot to look forward to =)

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Rushed for last minute madness xmas shopping with julia and jems before the party.
Goshhh...i've always hated the orchard xmas eve crowd.
And the sucky human jam at wisma's walkway to taka.

Back at 245's.
Makaning time!!
No turkey or ham this year.
But we have our all time favourites porridge satay korean rice bbq chicken wings curry sashimi chocolates wine!!
Extensive selection.very very 'rojak'!
We also had a mini 'pasar malam' ystd.
Piggin' out on exotic tidbits my aunts brought back from their holidays!

The presents were finally distributed after cutting the log cake at 12plus.
By the way bread talk's cakes are really quite nice to eat!!
This year i got a mug accessories top and a mini handbag!!
Yeah!!

We gotta continue the trend of holding such gatherings even when all of us grow older.
Acutally i feel very blessed to have such a closely knitted family.
Always get to enjoy good food fun and company.
Esp on festive occasions, the feeling becomes extra heartwarming.

Xmas is really not so much about presents or parties.
But about spending quality time with our loved ones.
Tis the season to be jolly...
Continue basking in the yuletide season people!!
Merry Merry Christmas!!

How many of us are guilty of complaining and whining and lamenting about life?
And how many really are grateful that all is well and give thanks to this far that you've come to.
Well if you are reading this.
You're actually the more fortunate minority of the world's population.

I kinda morphed into this very philosophical mode.
Aftermath of 'embracing uncertainty'.

I came home and saw anna sleeping.
The air con wasnt on.
The room was damn stuffy.
Twas only 9plus.
I wondered what time my grandma asked her to take her rest.

Then again, what else could she do besides sleeping.
All her chores were done.
There's no way that she could sit in the hall and watch the tv.
And there was nobody at home she could talk to.
Gosh...
I'll cry and sink into depression mode if i were in her shoes.

Imagine being in a foreign land.
Away from your family for a damn long time.
Only mode of communication with them is snail mails or the very rare phone calls.
And no one to share your weals and woes with.
Whats the meaning in life?

Recently I notice this young boy who's at most 15 amongst the cleaners in the mall i'm working at.
I found that very perplexing and disturbing.
Why would he choose to work as a cleaner of the many other choices available.
He probably sees it as any other decent job that gives him an earning.
Shouldnt someone of his age be out at some pool salon or at the cinemas or malls?
And he's always so cheery each time i see him.
It doesnt seem to bother him at all that he's working as a cleaner.

I feel so ashamed comparing myself to him or even anna.
We're all young people of around the same age.
But somehow my view of the world seems so myopic.
They were like mirrors reflecting the materialism in me.
Compared to them.
I think i've got much more than i could ask for.
But i dont think i'm even half contented.
But putting myself next to them, i see just how very fortunate i am.
I feel blessed.

Its also heartbreaking seeing those old cleaners who always 'park' their trolleys outside my shop or washrooms.
Those being their 'hangouts' where they catch up with thier fellow counterparts and settle their meals.
And also ah-peks ah-mas we see at food courts.
Cleaning after the diners or picking the leftovers to eat.
Why...?
Shouldnt they be leading a happy retired life.

I have an extremely soft spot for the elderly.
Remember myself crying each time i see those old people on tv.
I really wish i can do a little something for them.
I hope i materialise the secret ambition of mine.

It was the crowning of Mr & Miss SIM.
Drool worthy & entertainment factor --- LOW.
Th emcess didnt do quite a very good job.
Thus they failed quite miserably in their attempt to spice up the event.
That aside, the bash turned out better than i expected.
It must be the company.

I finally meet jorlyn and KM!
My 2 wacky og mates.
We dont see alot of each other in school.
They are my trusty school party mates nonetheless!
Happily got up the podium and dance our ass off.
Totally ignoring the fact that half of our fellow sch mates are there.
Jolly of the moment heck care shat!
THATS IT!
But all that dancing and release of endorphins made up for the previous 'moping weeks'.

Anyhow its funny seeing all our nicknamed mates in the club!
And...mr KPK MA bagged 3 awards for the night!
Well done well done!
The dj played a slow no. towards the end of the party.
And i was soso maluated when imp's friends chanted "dance with your SP".
Mortifying.
Well and so we joined in the 'fun'.
Ian's friend took us on a long spin.
We couldnt figure our way home almost landed up in JB!
Its funny how he hadda start from a reference point(his home) then send us back.

Reached home semi-groggy at 4plus.
And big shock!!! an extra being sleeping in my room!
Wah laus!
I realised its anna.
Juls and family left for hk.
Thus their maid's over.
Ahh they're hk-ing...so shiok.
We need to plan a cousins' trip man!

Ian asked me to join him on his europe backpacking.
Wah laus...but we share different itinerary.
I wanna go europe but not sightseeing.
Plus he says he can't travel with a talkative girl.
My gut tells me he'll leave me there and come back himself!

This xmas is gonna be happening.
Or so i wish.
I've got 2 more invitations.
So its party dinner gatherings potluck from 23-26.
But but...i havent done any shopping yet!
Talk about 12 days of xmas...Ha.

Spirits UPlifted.
Now that things are looking up...
Its high time i learn to take all matters in my stride and get a better grip of myself.

Sometimes i find myself saying the most outrageous things and having the most absurd thoughts.
I almost think i'm insane.
And i'll keep harping on issues eg. those 'out-of-the-world' kinda lame things or events that have almost zilch probabilty of occurence.
Thereafter drive myself up the wall and losing sleep thinking about the possible consequences of those non-existent problems.
I'm mad.
Bothering myself over those superfluous shat!
Like as if there arent enough things to worry about.

I'm oh what a thinker huh.
Yeah right.

So I've decided i'm gonna keep myself CAREFREE.
Abacadabra!
Free myself of thoughts.(nonsensical thoughts)

Shai drove us down to the west.
We discovered this whole stretch of food haven along upp bukit timah.
Settled for north indian food
Nann and tandoori chicken.Tasty!
Peiyee would've been so HIGH if she was with us.
Cos there were manymany ANs!

So we met Shus at her place.
It was a great get together for 3 of us.
Had fun reminiscing about old times and filling in about the latest ongoings.
Shai and I are such scaredy cats that we hadda leave in the midst of watching Saw II.
But that show's so disturbing!

And yes i received my first xmas invitation.
From my copar darlings.
Great effort and really sweet stuff!
I'm so looking forward.

Peiyee 'popped' by the shop ystd.
She planned to giove me a SURPRISE only to realise that it was my cousin on shift!
Aww.
Anyways I really appreciate it babe.
Yes...we're NUTTY.
I'm almond you're cashew.
But i love it that way.
You keep me sane (=

I'm still feelin very much spaced out.
Out of sorts.
I'm not me.
I feel suppressed and suffocated.
I feel like i'll break down and cry anytime.
Fuck.this is psychotic.
Pardon me if i've pissed you off in any way.
I seriously dont mean to.
Bear with me while i try to find a way out.

Santa must have heard me when i groan and whine upon reading 'currently only available in US'.

Sheila and I couldnt stop GAWPING at the pink box in the hands of the gross-bitch-who screeched-like-a-hyena.

We'll get hold of ours REAL SOON. Rawrrr!

Thou i only trust nokia.
But i really do have the hots for PINK! or in this case magenta.

I've been in a touchy mood of late.
Extreme mood swings.
Blame it on PMS.
What a brilliant excuse to get away with everything.

I feel depressed down vexed agitated and lousy.
I snap at the slightest thing.
Everything pisses me off.
Everyone seems like a pest to me.
And vice versa?
I'm sorry for being a nuisance and acting like a psycho maniac to yall.
I'm on high voltage.
Just fucking STAY AWAY!

I cant control.cant hold it back.
I wanna cry out loud.
I feel suppressed mentally and emotionally.
Its biting me bit by bit.
Once again.
I'm slung back into the gutter.
I have the impulse of running away.
Far far away from all of them.
But nobody cares.
They dont give a damn.
Those selfish people who only care to be happy themselves.
I loathe you!
I destest you for causing the misery!!!!!

I reckon i'm better off living on prozac.
And indulging in a world where only I exist.

To err is human, to forgive divine.

Indeed it was a 'recouncilation day' for me.

I spoke to 2 person whom i kinda thought i wouldnt wanna have anything to do with no more.

Maybe its cos we've all hit the big 20.
And decided to put the foolish acts behind us.
The words and smile came naturally.
And everything else fell in place.
It was like the old times.

Always good to have one less foe.
Its tiring and depressing and it sucks to be nursing a grudge.
Honestly i have no idea why i put myself thru that.

I felt liberated.
The chains were broken loose.
It is that kinda feeling that makes you smile from within.

Now I aspire to be a more magnanimous and more sanguine individual to inspire more people around me =)

Zouk was jam-packed as always.
And the queue was mad.
We managed to fake our way thru and cut the q fortunately.

Met prince pauper at the entrance.nice =)))
Then we saw the buncha 'proj superstars'.
Jo was like going gaga over that william guy.
He was my fav from the start of the contest actually.Ha.

Someone called out to me in the igloo walkway.
It was...JANE!!!
Gosh.
I haven seen her ever since she left for australia!
Still the same old jane lah.
But slightly toned down i think.

Its always like a mini get tog when we go zouking.
You'll bump into friends whom u haven got a chance to meet up in a long time.
Queer coincidence?
Then met goi and rs.
I dont know how it happened.
But rs and i, we smiled and exchanged HIs and even spoke.

Then my lecture mate, 'guy-who-drives-an-evo' came by.
And we spoke.
Now this is weird.
So we actually know each other exist?
But we've never ever spoken to each other in sch.
Uh huh.
Oh i introduced all my friends to sunshineee!
They agreed thats he is sunny. Yay.
Cept benji who insists he's darkness. Grr.

It was a big group of us ystd.
The mad safari quartet + ong cc + shus + marc and friends.
Jo's lucky to have the right company for her virgin experience.
She wants more!
Meyling was so funny lah...
She was hihi-ing to terence cao.
What cheap thrill.Ha.
Yah..besides friends.
You do get to see pretty many artistes at zouk.

The night would've been more satisfying if it werent for the jam packed crowd.
We didnt even get to step onto the dance floor!
Well we're all definitely gonna be partying again.
REAL SOON.
Uh.whatever happened to my vow?